The issue of broken homes, untimely casualty, emotional and psychological crisis are growing on daily basis, injecting fears and uncertainties in the lives of many especially the young people. It’s a common belief that no relationship is flawless whereby divorce has become a common phenomenon in society where marriage was perceived as sacred.
A medical practitioner, Public Affairs Analyst, and CEO of Careeredu, (#Ala-Africa,) Kelvin Alaneme offers undiluted pieces of advice on relationships to both genders.
“We are too sentimental and emotional in relationships which is why many people are trapped in toxic relationships and marriages.
If you are dating someone and discover a red flag 🚩🚩🚩 you cannot live with, even if you are on your way to your wedding, ABORT MISSION!
We would abort mission if we were about to invest in a business and then discover that it is not viable. But, somehow, we switch this off in making such a life-changing decision, despite a million alarm bells going off! 😭😭😭
It is always better to have a broken relationship or engagement than a broken marriage. Don’t use because of ‘expenses already made’ and ‘what people will say’ and bind yourself to perpetual suffering.
Divorces are often complicated and can get messy. So, the best time to call it quits is before you sign that dotted line. The second best time? When it has broken down irretrievably.
Again, this craze of ‘training a lady in school’ or ‘building a man’ in exchange for a promise of marriage should stop! You are not entitled to shit. This is why you will always be left behind. Because, instead of focusing on building yourself into someone valuable, you are building another person. Ogbeni, build yourself! No one leaves a person of value. 💯
If you are still feeling charitable and want to build others, start with your family members and people in your community. Train them in school. Empower them. Feel free to empower others, strangers even, but stop hanging your assistance over people’s head like a guillotine. They must marry you because… 🤣🤣🤣
Also, marriage is not compulsory. You can be happy on your own. You can be happy with a partner. You can raise children with a partner. You can marry and raise children with a partner. Choose what works best for you. Choose what keeps you sane. Choose what aligns best with who you are. Your life. Your decisions.
Relationships is like sports. You win some, you lose some. If you win by finding the ideal partner, good for you! 👏👏👏 Enjoy. Ifdono work for you, ndo. Try again, next time.
Even after marriage, if e no work, please leave. You have only one life and you cannot and should not live it in misery and tears.
They say there is someone for everyone.
If you haven’t found yours, keep looking.
May the odds be in your favour. 🙏❤️
©Kelvin Alaneme, 2023.